Victories
by Lajk24
Summary: After the events of Small Victories, Daniel's not feeling too victorious. The (yet another) close call makes him wonder. JD slash.


Victories:  
  
Usual disclaimers. I don't own anyone. I'm not making any money out of this.  
  
Feedback greatly appreciated. Please read and review. E-mail Lajk24@hotmail.com. Visit my web-site at www.members/tripod.co.uk/Lajk24.S1.HTML  
  
Daniel stared in shock at the computer monitor as he watched the Replicators slowly gaining on Jack. Each escape hatch they tried was already overridden with the bugs and Daniel could honestly see no way out for his team-mates. He could hear Paul Davis next to him, on the phone to Washington, but all he could see was Jack. All he could hear, as Jack turned his camera on himself and spoke urgently yet gently to Daniel, was a growing roaring in his ears. He knew that Jack was right, and that if he cared at all for the older man he would blow the sub before they got any closer to him and Teal'c, but he just stared, not wanting it to be real. He couldn't loose Jack, he just couldn't. Not that he wanted to lose Teal'c either, but the Jaffa was far from Daniel's mind as he hesitated. And hesitated. Jack stared back, a moment of connection between the two men like so many before, but poignant with the knowledge that was more than likely to be their last. Daniel had to do this, he owed it to Jack. No-one said the word goodbye. As Jack broke eye-contact and watched the Replicators instead, Davis gave the order. And Daniel just prayed. Something he hadn't done since he was a child. Since he'd stopped believing in God after the senseless death of his parents when he was eight years old. As a child his overwhelming feeling at their loss was one of abandonment. That fear and feeling of abandonment was returning now. He hadn't realised quite how dependant he'd become to having Jack in his life until he had to face losing him. And then the miracle that Daniel had been praying for happened. The Asgard had them. Safe. "The.the." The words stuck in Daniel's throat. He gestured. "They're alright!" he finally managed, feeling as if he would faint with relief, and hardly noticing when Paul Davis clamped a reassuring hand on his shoulder and then steered him down towards the Gateroom as soon as Jack, Teal'c and Sam reappeared.  
  
Jack stared through his camera at Daniel. Best damn friend I ever had, he thought, abstractly wondering how Daniel would cope with his and Teal'c's deaths. The younger man had been through so much and Jack felt desperate somehow to protect him from more pain. He couldn't bring himself to say good-bye, just hoped that Danny saw it in his eyes - he'd always seemed to know what Jack was thinking. He dropped the camera as the Replicators advanced. What a way to go, he thought, hoping that the sub would get blown before the bugs got him. A second later he found himself on an Asgard ship, facing Carter and Thor. He'd never been so happy to see the little, grey fella in his life.  
  
Daniel's gaze locked immediately on Jack upon entering the Gateroom. He was there, he was alive. They were all alive and safe. It looked like SG-1 had done it once again, Daniel thought. Jack grinned at him, and Daniel, grinning back, knew everything was ok. But then Janet and Hammond came rushing through and the rest of his team got dragged off for medical checks and de-briefings. Feeling a little lost, in the end Daniel went to his office and tried to work on some translations. It was alright, he thought, he would catch up with Jack later.  
  
Some time later Daniel sat back, took off his glasses and rubbed at his eyes. He wondered how long he'd been working. Glancing at his watch he saw it was already nine in the evening. His stomach rumbled, reminding him he hadn't eaten anything for most of the day, and he grabbed his jacket to head off to find some food. He should probably go home, he supposed. Janet had said that he still had to get plenty of rest for a while. Not that there was much to go home to, he mused. He was about to leave his office when his phone rang. "Hey Daniel. Still working? Come and join the rest of us already!" "Sam? Where are you?" "What? I can't hear you." "Never mind. I can hear, it's O'Malley's. I'll be there shortly." "What?" "I said. Never mind'. He hung up, wondering why Sam had even bothered to call when it obviously they wouldn't be able to hear each over the volume of noise in the bar. He wondered who 'the rest of us' were. He hadn't even known anyone would be going to O'Malley's, although it made sense that some sort of celebration would be going on. Mentally shrugging to himself, he decided that he may as well put in an appearance. He would be able to get some food there, anyway.  
  
Daniel entered the smoky, noisy atmosphere of the bar fifteen minutes later. He could make out his friends over at the jukebox in the far end of the room. The rest of the place was packed out, mainly with nameless SGC members. It looked like the party was in full swing. Weaving his way through the crowd he managed to reach the rest of SG-1. Jack was twirling Janet around, in some strange parody of ballroom dancing whilst it looked like Sam was trying to teach Teal'c 'the twist' in time to the rock and roll music that someone had put onto the jukebox. Avoiding being hit by an outstretched arm of Janet's as she was dipped by Jack, he smiled at her giggled apology and went to join Major Davis and General Hammond at the bar.  
  
"Hey, Daniel, you made it. Do you want a drink?" "Oh. No, it's ok, Paul. I'll get it." He ordered a glass of Jack Daniels and a slice of pizza and exchanged small talk with Paul and Hammond. Soon the conversation drifted into politics and Washington life; Daniel tuned it out and stood instead just watching his friends. He still felt lost. Finishing his food he decided he needed some fresh air and made his way back through the laughing dancers. He barely heard Jack call his name as he rushed past.  
  
"Daniel?" Jack frowned. "Daniel!" "What's up with him?" he asked Janet. Janet just shrugged and giggled again. "Come on Colonel, let's try a tango." Jack stepped out of Janet's grip. "Sorry, Doc. Maybe later." Ignoring the pout Janet gave him he stalked through the crowds in the direction that Daniel had gone.  
  
Outside was much better, Daniel decided, as he folded his arms around himself, against the cool night air and the lingering cold inside himself. Besides, if he'd had to watch Sam and Teal'c make goo-goo eyes at each other or Janet flirting desperately with Jack for much longer. Where had that come from, he wondered. His friends could do what they wanted. What business was it of his? He certainly didn't seem to be any business of theirs at the moment, did he? Jack hadn't even seen him come in, and Sam and Teal'c had just nodded in his direction before continuing their 'lesson'. He guessed he wasn't missed any more here than he had been during their time on Thor's ship and the nine days following. Not that he minded being on his own. He was used to it. But he'd come to depend on them. Especially Jack. And that was the crux of it, he had to admit to himself. He was annoyed because Jack wasn't paying him attention. How petty was that? He didn't own Jack. He could dance with whoever he wanted. Jack certainly wouldn't be dancing with him. He had no claim on Jack, never did, never would. He laughed slightly at the likely image of him and Jack dancing to whatever it was Jack and Janet had been attempting. It would be funnier if he didn't have an overwhelming urge to try it anyway. As he leaned back against the brick wall, the music still blaring away but muted somewhat now, he thought again of how close he'd come to loosing Jack. Loosing him when he didn't even have him. He'd been so scared, so sure that this was it.  
  
A shadow falling over him disturbed his thoughts. Daniel looked up into the one face that he both wanted and didn't want to see. "Hey Daniel. Whatcha doing?" Jack, bouncing back and forth on the balls of his feet, doing his best annoying-questioning-eight-year-old impression. The one that told Daniel that his friend was concerned but didn't want Daniel to know that. Daniel almost smiled. "Getting some air," he finally replied. "Oh. Not having a good time?" Daniel shrugged. "Didn't even know this was on," he muttered, looking at the ground. Jack caught the soft words anyway and raised his eyebrows. "Oh?" Daniel looked at him. "You're eloquent tonight, Jack." Jack laughed. "You're the linguist, not me." "Right," Daniel nodded, turning back again to stare out into the night. For a linguist, he decided suddenly, he was sure finding it difficult to talk. "So, some day, huh?" Jack settled back against the wall next to Daniel. "You can say that again." "Close one. I honestly didn't think we were gonna make it." Daniel screwed his eyes shut, hoping Jack wouldn't notice in the dark. He really didn't want to hear this. "I don't mind telling you, Danny, I was scared out there." He paused, then continued, "I kept thinking about my life, about all I'd done, or hadn't done." Daniel felt the tears slowly slide down his face before he could stop them. He let them fall, knowing that if he scrubbed at his face, Jack would know something was wrong. Jack didn't need his problems, and he didn't need Jack's pity. He hadn't been the one out there on the sub, surrounded by man- eating mechanic bugs. Jack had.  
  
Jack stared at his friend. He was very quiet, and was that.? He reached over and gently brushed a knuckle across the skin under Daniel's eye. He wasn't too surprised when it came away wet and Daniel turned away from him. He placed a hand on Daniel's shoulder and tried to turn him round towards him again. "Leave me alone, Jack." "Can't, Daniel. Tell me what's wrong?" "No, Jack. I'm fine." "Which of course means you're anything but fine." With slightly more pressure, he turned Daniel around to face him. Daniel still wouldn't meet his gaze and instead seemed to find something incredibly interesting to look at on Jack's shirt. However, he didn't pull away from Jack's hold on him. He just stood there, looking utterly miserable. He hadn't even gone into classic Daniel self-comfort mode this time, Jack noticed. Instead of wrapped around himself, Daniel's arm were just dangling at his sides. Jack pulled him close, bringing his arms around him and began soothingly stroking Daniel hair. "It's ok, Danny, it's ok." Daniel immediately buried his face into Jack's chest and Jack soon felt his shirt get wet as Daniel's tears continued to silently fall. He noticed that the younger man was shaking slightly and he continued making soothing noises. "Let it out, Danny, it's ok, I've got you." This produced some kind of snuffle from Daniel. After a few minutes Daniel stopped shaking and looked up at Jack. "Sorry." "It's ok. Nothing to be sorry about." "I'm ok now." "Good", Jack replied, smiling, but he didn't let Daniel go.  
  
Daniel decided he was enjoying being wrapped in Jack's arms so he didn't protest. He noticed that the sound of the music could still be heard inside the bar. It was a slower song now, one Daniel particularly liked, and he found himself asking the question before he thought about what he doing. "Jack, will you dance with me?" Even in the half-dark of the bar's outside neon lights they were standing close enough now for Daniel to see Jack's quizzical look in response to his request. "Ok," he replied after a minute. Daniel started to step away from Jack, thinking Jack might indulge his strange, obviously-miserable friend in a few pantomine-style turns and twirls. Daniel would take whatever he was given. But Jack surprised him by smiling softly at him and pulling him in tight, sliding his hands lower, so that one was resting lightly on the small of Daniel's back whilst the other was placed between Daniel's shoulder-blades. The couple of inches that Jack had on him in height meant that Daniel could easily reach up and put his arms around Jack's neck. So he did, resting his head on Jack's shoulder, closing his eyes and breathing Jack in as the older man started to sway them to the music. He finally relaxed, letting the knot of tension and ice within him melt, letting himself drift, letting Jack carry him.  
  
Jack smiled as he saw Daniel visibly relax and let go. The weight of him felt nice against him, comfortable, right. He'd been surprised by Daniel's embarrassed request but as he took Daniel in his arms and they moved to the quiet beat of the music he found he was enjoying himself. He still wasn't entirely sure what had been eating at Daniel but was sure that part of it had been the stress and the shock of the day. Jack would have done almost anything to erase the hurt he'd seen in Daniel's eyes. And holding Daniel in his arms was not an unpleasant task by any means. Daniel still had his eyes closed and his head on Jack's shoulder when the song finished. Jack wasn't sure how to break the moment and if he was honest, wasn't sure he wanted to. He stood still and just held Daniel. After a few minutes the younger man lifted his head. Jack grinned at him, and Daniel smiled back, and then suddenly leant across and captured Jack's mouth in a sweet but hungry kiss. Jack couldn't help but respond and was startled when Daniel just as suddenly broke the contact and stepped away from Jack.  
  
"Oh God, I'm so sorry!" Daniel, blushing furiously, turned tail and raced away from Jack. He started running; twenty minutes later he realised he was halfway home and had left his car in the bar's car-park. Oh well, he decided, it could stay there until the morning. There was no way he was going back to the party. Slowing to a walk, he made his way back to his apartment, even more confused and miserable than he'd been earlier. 'What an idiot', he told himself. Jack decides to give a bit of comfort and support to a friend and team-mate after yet another close call, and what does he do? Kiss him. There was nothing like suddenly declaring your overall lust and, yes, probably love, for your totally inappropriate male friend. He had no idea how he was going to face Jack after this. Which would probably only be once more, anyway, when the colonel came to tell him he wanted him out the SGC or at least off of SG-1. Maybe he could plead drunkenness, or insanity. Again. Maybe he was going mad, because he'd probably just screwed up the best friendship he'd even had. Even as reached the apartment, threw himself down onto the couch - and no, he was not going to think about just how many times Jack had slept on that very couch - and began flicking restlessly, scowling, through television channels, part of him admitted that he was pleased he'd finally done it. The undeclared and unrequited thing was safe, and far less embarrassing, but it was also starting to get hard work. His dreams about Jack were getting more frequent. Frankly he could hardly look at Jack in briefings any more for thoughts of what he'd like to do in that room, on that table, with just the two of them there, alone. With Jack in his dress blues. Oh God, he realised, he was doing it again. He was supposed to be being realistic and scientific about this, not letting his hormones control him again. They'd done enough damage for one night. 'Focus, Daniel, focus', he told himself. Oh God, he'd kissed Jack, he thought. The colonel had tasted of beer and a faint tang of tomato and onion - pizza. And he may have been wrong but he was pretty sure there was sparkage there. Well, Daniel mused, now he knew. If it made any difference whatsoever. But there was one thing that all these close calls were gradually making him realise. You had to take your chances when they came, because it could all be over tomorrow. The realisation of how close he'd come to loosing Jack and Teal'c today hit him once more. They only had one life, one chance and Daniel knew he had to make the most of it, seize the day and all that. And that was exactly what he'd done.  
  
Daniel's endless flicking of channels was finally interrupted some time later by the ring of his doorbell. He glanced at his watch. Only an hour since he'd left the party. It looked like showtime was going to be sooner that he'd expected. "Daniel, can I come in?" Daniel blinked. Jack never asked. "I'll take that as a yes", Jack replied, pushing past Daniel and into the living room. "You ran off pretty quickly there. Should have stayed. It was a good party." He wandered around the room, hands jammed into his pockets, staring at Daniel's artefacts as if he'd never seen them before. "I'm sorry, Jack. I'll go to Hammond first thing in the morning and request a transfer to another team." Jack turned to stare at Daniel, frowning. "Another team?" "Oh. Right. You want me out of the SGC altogether." Jack walked over to where Daniel was standing, next to the couch, near the doorway. "Daniel, you want to leave the SGC?" "No, of course not! But after." He gestured, going red again. "Oh. I see. Well, of course I'll back up your request, if that's what you want." Daniel nodded and Jack walked past him, back out towards the door. "Wait", Daniel said, frowning, realising something. "What do you mean, if that's what I want?" Jack paused, his hand on the door-latch. He shrugged. "It means that. If you feel you can't work in SG-1 any more then I'll back you up." "You mean, you don't want me to leave?" Jack turned to face him again. "Of course I don't want you to leave." "But, in the car-park." "Yeah. I know. I was there." Jack raised an eyebrow. Waited. "Well. I. I." Jack sighed. "Very eloquent, Daniel. I guess I'd better be going." "Don't go! I mean, why did you come here, Jack?" "I don't know, Daniel. I actually thought we might have something to talk about." "You want to talk?" "Yeah. Strange, isn't it?" Jack laughed, humourlessly. "Um, ok." They stared at each other in silence for a few more minutes. "I - I guess I'm feeling a little confused here, Jack." Jack stared at him for a minute, then seemed to come to a decision. "Ok", he stated, "I guess I'd better start then." He gestured Daniel back into the living room and onto the couch. Jack sat next to him. "I never did you tell what happened when you were captured by Nem and we thought you were dead." He paused. "We had a service. Nice, formal, military. You'd have hated it." Daniel grinned. "Then I drafted my resignation." Daniel stared at him. "Why?" "Why? Why'd you think? Because I couldn't stand the thought of carrying on doing all this shit without you." "You.?" "But then it was alright. You weren't really dead, and we carried on, exploring strange new worlds and all that. And saving them. Beating the odds. It began to get almost ordinary, you know. But I realised something today." "What?" Daniel was transfixed now. "It should never get ordinary. Cos it isn't. I could have died today, Danny! I almost did. It was that close I was practically seeing my life flashing before my eyes. I thought about what I'd regret, about what I'd never do, about what I'd miss. If it hadn't been for Thor." "Jack, don't. It's ok. You're ok. We were victorious." "This time. How much longer do you think we're gonna keep getting these second chances? Got to make the most of them, Dannyboy." "Seize the day," Daniel whispered. Jack nodded. "Know what I realised I'd miss?" Daniel shook his head. "You, Danny. You were pretty much top of the list." "Me?!" "Yep. And regrets. I could have died today without ever doing this," Jack continued, reaching out to stroke a hand down Daniel's face. Daniel gasped at the touch. "Or this". Jack cupped Daniel's jaw and pulled him towards him. "Or this." Jack closed his mouth over Daniel's. Daniel sighed and deepened the kiss. Jack's tongue was suddenly there, demanding entrance to Daniel's mouth. Daniel opened his mouth, moaned as the hunger between them increased. Yep, he decided, definitely sparkage. They were both wide-eyed and gasping for breath when they had to pull away from each other. "Jack. Oh my God. I never thought." "For a smart guy, Daniel, you don't always think," Jack replied, but his tone was affectionate and his eyes were laughing. Daniel laughed. He couldn't believe it. "I thought I was going to lose you today, Jack. I was so scared. I don't what I would have done if you'd died on that sub." "Written your resignation and smashed Hammand's car window?" Daniel gasped. "You didn't?!" "I did," Jack nodded. Daniel just laughed. "Only you, Jack, only you." He shook his head. "I can't believe this is actually happening." "Believe it, Danny. I think we've both wasted too much time. I love you, Daniel, and I'm just sorry that I didn't say it sooner." "Wow, Jack. I - I love you too." Jack grinned. "Well, now that we've both decided that we're both alive, safe, and very lovable guys, do you think, Doctor Jackson," Jack lowered his voice before continuing huskily, "that we can continue this private victory party somewhere a little more comfortable?" Daniel nodded, kissed him, and then took Jack's hand to lead him upstairs. 


End file.
